Sincerely Jasper Hale
by alexisdevonne
Summary: Jasper meets Alice before he goes to fight in the Civil War. Experience their love through their letters. Sincerely Jasper Hale. AU/All Human - Cannon Pairings


**Disclaimer: ****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended**

**AN: Hello All!**

**Thank you so much for clicking into read. My stories will always be posted here as well as my blog (. - please stop by) and twilighted (again alexisdevonne)**

**I would like to dedicate this story to my mereidith who sat tirelessly beside me as I typed this up (without letting her read it), recapped the Civil War in under six text messages, and not inspired me but also encouraged this as well as all my other stories (soon to be posted of course)**

**I would secondly like to that TBY789, Tara Su Me, Bellamarie117, isakassees, and Lula Shoes for both inspiring me and sending me running madly to my laptop for their updates. I aspire to be as great as you all one day. **

**Here's to getting my feet wet in the twilight AU world. Without further ado….**

_Sincerely Jasper Hale_

_Written by alexidevonne_

_With dedication to Meredith Clifton_

_Part one of three_

The stars formed tears in her eyes; I clutched her hand and tugged her down beside me on the wide front porch. Her pale cream dress spread out around her on the narrow porch steps. Silence formed nooses around our necks; as they began to tug, drawing us both into a deep oblivion, she spoke. Her soft bell song voice echoed in the nighttime silence.

"This is goodbye?" she said through soft pink lips.

My heart broke at the pain on her face. The pouted lip and downcast eyes formed an expression I had only seen on her face a handful of times. I hated that I had put it there. That fate had put it there.

"no – no darlin'" I choked off, my hands stalling insistently in mid air as I aimed to soothe her hair out of her face "more like 'I'll see you soon'"

She paused. The candle lit in the front window painted light across her back, illuminating the long dark brown hair I had fallen in love with. It, that lonesome candle flicker, accentuated the wide bow she always settled across her dark, soft curls. It was purple today. My mom had made it for her. She attached the bow to the band with a button '_so she does not have to tie it again and again' _my mom explained.

"Come ba- hurry back to me" she sang as she stood.

Quickly, I grasped both her thin, fragile hands holding them between my rough calloused ones.

"You give a man good reason-"I desperately searched for a smile, "I'll see you soon Alice, you have my word"

Legs quaking as I stood, I gritted my teeth and begun down the winding walk that had led me to her house earlier that day, only her voice stopped me before I was finished.

"Jasper!"

I turned and in an instant her frantic arms were around me and her legs were tossed in the air as I spun her, hopping that I could press her into my body. Hopping, that I would never have to leave her bright smile, lopsided bows, gentle accent, and long dark hair. I stole a gentle kiss against her forehead and chocked as I put her down.

"I'll hurry home darlin' and see you soon."

At last, I got a smile, my heart quaked a stutter with emotion.

"I love you too" she smiled gently and graced her house once more.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

It was dark, night touched us early here, and candles were rare but we had managed to scrape some short ones tonight. All the soldiers were writing home. I didn't know how to write a letter, or what to write in a letter rather. I felt ridiculous with the dry pen in my hand and no words to put down. I looked to my left, my tent mate Peter sat in the same position I was in; head hung, raised pen in hand. It was a struggle. A lot was going on here. Some of it I could tell Alice and some of it I couldn't. Some of it I wanted to say but wouldn't.

She was a worrier. It was one of the many reasons I loved her. However, I didn't want a crease in her forehead when I wasn't there to soothe it away. The worldly innocence in her smile did not need to be taken away by the cruelty of war.

As the rain settled on the tent, threatening to ruin the parchment before I had written anything, I decided on a memory. I would tell Alice the abridged version of everything swimming through my mind. Just like always.

_My darling Alice,_

_I don't know how to start with something other than I miss you already. There are so many thoughts going through my head. But as always, the upmost is you my darlin'. I'm safe and unharmed is the most I can tell you at the moment. It's so easy for letters to be intercepted before being delivered and I detest putting you or the Confederacy at risk. My apologizes my dear, I know it will bother you. The rain strikes the tent hard tonight, but all I can think of is that time the rain caught us on our walk. _

_Do you remember? You wanted to take a walk around town, as you called it, so we started down that winding road that crosses behind the Hales' little barn. We had just started half hour or so before but we were already nearing the Swan's place when the sky cried at us. You just stood there for a minute, mute and frustrated before you stared at me, quickly explaining you couldn't get mud on your new shoes. They were dark blue and the very idea of getting that dark brown mud on them made you sick. Let alone the thought of getting mud on the hem of your dark blue dress. I cradled you all the way back to your house. Do you remember darlin'? _

I smiled as I jotted down the memory. Happy that I'd found a moment of joy to keep my mind off the war at hand. Ecstatic over the fact that I could so easily share it with her. I continued sketching the moment onto the parchment.

_By the time we got back, you had pneumonia and your father wanted to kill me. But your mother (tell her I send my regards, please darlin') she let me in to see you every day. And I read to you from that book of Keats poetry you liked so much. Sat in that old wooden chair and read you awake and then read you asleep again. I held that delicate little hand in mind and prayed you'd get better soon. _

_When you finally got well enough to talk, you sat up against that old wooden bed frame, looked me straight in the eye and told me to get back to reading. _

I laughed aloud, quickly causing Peter to twitch an eye in my direction. Her image was perfectly in my mind. Long brown hair wrapped around sweaty shoulders; she sagged against that head board and glared at me with a defiant little pout.

_That's all I can think about my love. The silence in the smile on your tired face, and carrying you and your new shoes home. I can't comprehend anything but you right now my Alice. Know that I miss you. I'm sorry this letter is so short my darlin' but the candles burning low. I'm going to dream with thoughts of you._

_Sincerely,_

_Jasper Hale_

I folded the paper, closing my eyes with a last image of her opening it with a smile.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

_Dear Jasper,_

I smiled as I recognized her slight whimsical handwriting. She always had a way of leaking her personality on to the paper. God had blessed me with this spare moment. The days had become hard; we had recently marked the week as 'the week the war actually began'. We had the leg up for now. I knew the renegade at Fort Sumter was something my darling would have heard about. I hopped she was not worrying herself to death.

_I'll start with regard to your last letter. Yes, handsome, I do remember. I remember every poem you read. The deep sound of your voice as it echoed through that tiny bedroom. I wish I could hear it now. I wish your voice could come through your letter. That I could hear that deep, southern drawl in each word as I read them aloud. But I find that I can only hear my own voice echoing back at me. It distorts your words into fantasy I find. It lacks the plain honesty that I treasure so much in when we speak. And I hope we speak again soon. I miss you so._

_I pray that you are safe if not warm, and that the war has yet to take its toll on you. The weather has been gloomy and we all have been stuck indoors relying on the menial tasks to keep us occupied. I began sewing a new dress yesterday. Your mother brought over some new fabric. She refused to let us pay her saying instead that it was in exchange for company for a few hours. It is pink and so soft. I've decided the dress will have three quarter sleeves and a double skirt with half pleats. Oh, I also found the perfect buttons to finish it and ribbon to match. Your mother insisted on making me another button bow. I cannot wait until you are home and can see it for yourself._

I paused and re read the paragraph with a subtle smile. My mother and Alice had been very close sense Alice and I had met. My mother's expression was easy to recollect. I had gone to take one of the horses for a ride and come back three hours later with 'wide eyes and a subtle disposition' mother always said. Alice had been skipping between mud puddles on the road back from town, her arms filled with more bolts of fabric than I thought possible. My mother said she knew in that moment Alice and I was a match made in heaven. Or at least that's what she always told me. I was glad they were spending time together; it was something I am sure they were both in need of. Alice liked constant company and my mother enjoyed Alice's antics.

_On a more serious notion, I want you to know that I understand why you chose to go to fight. I understand you miss me and I understand there are things you can and cannot tell me. But I also know you; I know now that the most important part of your focus is on the job at hand and that's where it needs to be. I tell you this, as I do not want you to feel responsible for writing me each day while you are away. I want to hear from you that is certain, I simply do not want to upset your focus my dear. Keep it in mind as you are in my heart._

_All my love, _

_Alice Brannon _

Sitting back on my hands, my head turned to both God and the top of the tent. She was so … incredibly nonsensical, to even fathom that I would not want to write her…that there was any way I could not think of her…. But that too was why I loved her. Well one of the many reasons, the ceaseless care, the ceaseless desire to put others before herself. To put me before her. And with my distinctly southern beliefs that was backwards.

I folded the note carefully, tucking it into the inside pocket of my jacket.

_Dearest Alice Brannon,_

I stopped. So desperate was I to get my feelings for her down on paper. She needed to understand that she was so much more to me than just … than love. However they would not come out on paper. Exasperated, I fell back onto the ground.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

I pulled out the scribbled on piece on paper. Between the gore and shots and promotions, it was the first time in a month I'd been able to sit down and write my Alice. It was ironically inconsiderate of the war to take my time at such a crucial moment. I knew my Alice Brannon. Meaning I knew she would be discontent and scared. She might have said I did not have to write. Alice was selfless. But subconsciously I knew she wanted a confirmation that I would continue. That or a confirmation thank you. Instead she had heard nothing. She was in the forefront of my mind. No matter what I did, I thought of her. But she could not know that if I did not tell her.

I saw her in my dreams; her long brown hair, her big bows, and wide innocent eyes.

Sometimes she was in tears in front of the big bay window, begging me to come home. On occasion we were back together my arms tight around her as I spun her around and peppered her with soft kisses. Last night she had worn my ring on her finger. I woke up wondering why I had not proposed before I left. But I knew. I had considered it. She had always admired antique hand-me-downs; my mother had given me my grandmother's wedding ring. It was perfect, silver with a cluster of diamonds in the middle. It was dainty and small and…Alice. Perfectly Alice.

I had been so close to dropping on my knees and begging permission to place it on her finger. Inside I knew that was selfish. I was going to war, I had little idea how long it would be before I came back to her. If a new man was to walk into her life I wanted her to be able to go with him. Her happiness was the most important thing to me. He would never be good enough for her – I was not good enough for her. However, it was her option. She could not be tied down when I left.

When I ran down that path to her house when I came back, if she was still there with a big bow and a wide smile, I would drop down on my knees and ask her permission to put it on her finger. I wanted her….no I needed her.

_Dearest Alice Brannon,_

_I am so sorry my darlin'. More sorry than I can tell you. The war took me away from you months ago and it has taken me further away this month. It was never my intention to not write you my love, despite your instance that I did not have to. You, Alice, are the first person on my mind always. I find it impossible to not think of you my love. Writing you is not a chore. It's a relief. A relief that I can show you a spot of the devotion and love I feel for you even from so far away. I love you my Alice. My apologizes for not leaving you with those words when I left. My apologizes for weighing you with me now. However, it is the truth my darlin' I love you so much. I want to show you that from even this far away. Writing you is not a burden. Not in the least._

_The war has been grueling as I am sure you know. As I am sure you know I cannot tell you much about it my love. Do you know what is on my mind, my love? I despise the fact that I send you nothing but memories. I suppose it is my way of conveying all the love we have and will share._

I paused, breathing in and out slowly as I read my drawl of thoughts on paper. The gentleman in me wanted me to tear the section off and start over. I wanted my Alice to live without the war bothering her. As always though I knew she would want my thoughts. '_Each and every one of them'_ she would always say, '_your thoughts and memories make you …. You'_

_Our first picnic is the most prominent memory in my head right now. You were wearing your yellow dress._

I closed my eyes letting the memory wash over me. She had been breath taking in that long purple dress.

_My mom sent me with three different blankets to choose from. You laughed as you spread them all out, laid back and looked up at the sky. That was the first time I held your hand, gloved as it was. Those big almond eyes looked at me; you squeezed my hand and told me 'it's about time Mr. Hale'. I know you wondered why it took me so long to …. To touch you. My hands were so calloused I was petrified that they would mar your perfect, smooth skin. With your hands in your gloves that wasn't a problem._

I could almost see her face as I wrote that. She would give me her wide eyed 'you are an utter igmaraymoose' look. My Alice always knew how to keep me from feeling frivolous.

_We snacked and you fell asleep in the subtle breeze. Your eyes opened before we left but I carried you home anyway. I wanted to feel you in my arms Alice. The lines of your ribs, the crook of your knees over my arms, the line of your back against my chest, your dark hair against my shoulder; you are perfection Alice. I felt your perfection in my arms when I carried you. That's one of my favorite things to do Alice carry you. That's the first thing I want to do when I get home. I want to run down that path of yours and carry you back across it my darlin'._

_I miss you so much Alice. I love you so much Alice. I miss that beautiful purple dress I watched you sew. I miss your smile and your splendor. I miss the perfection my love._

_I know about the shortages your going through at home. I know about the rations on your fabric and on flour, and butter, and sugar. I know you're going through hardships you will never mention. I am so sorry Alice. If I could've prevented this war I would've done everything in my power to prevent it. But then again I think that there is a reason for the war; I would've taken that reason away. I would make those imbeciles in the north understand. I have a feeling in my gut Alice, a feeling that things are going to get messy. I will keep in touch I promise Darling. _

_I hope to see you so soon Alice. I want to see you in your purple bow._

_All my love and memories,_

_Jasper Hale_

I sat back to re read the ramble that I had written. It was sludge. I was putting so much on her by sending this but I found myself sealing it anyway. She always accepted my thoughts, just as she accepted me.

"My Alice" I sighed gently and fell asleep.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The camp had moved more often than I even thought possible in the last fifty days. I had sent Alice the silliest and plainest of letters. I had gotten several from her; they were all out of order. The old letter boy we had quickly became a prize I was searching for. I was being selfish; I knew. But I wanted the sincerity that came with order.

The contemplation of order slid into my mind as I contemplated the documents in front of me. I had been promoted time after time after time lately. It was becoming the start of each letter. I wanted Alice to know what was happening.

"Letter for Major Hale" I heard the crisp voice outside the general's tent. I was shaking and anxious as I rushed to retrieve it.

My mother and father sent me letters as well. As much as I loved them; as much as I wanted to hear from them Alice seemed so much more important to me. As shameful as that was.

Grabbing the pile of parchment I tore into the envelope and unfolded the letter. A long strip of purple fabric fell out onto my pants. I instantly knew what it was. The texture, the color…a scrap from Alice's purple dress. A scrap from the dress I had watched her make.

_My Dearest Jasper Hale,_

_Major, I'm glad to hear from you and know you are doing well. I have the distinct feeling that my letters are showing up out of order as the letters I have received are out of order. _

_I have a memory for you this time. The memory of my purple dress. The first time we went into the real town together. I was searching for new fabric. I wanted purple only I can hardly ever find purple and I was in a tiff because mother could not go with me. So you went with me. We rode your horse and you trampled through eight different shops with me to find the fabric and ribbon I wanted. We finally found it after hours of searching and we found it. You ordered me to let you buy it and I told you that because you did it would be my 'your dress'. The dress I would wear when I thought of you. But you told me that it would only be 'your dress' if you got to help me make it. Mom laughed at us. _

_I'm sure it made a humorous picture. The two of us in the sewing room, cramped together on the couch and floor as I stitched that dress stitch by stitch. But I enjoyed it Jasper I enjoyed that so much I was loathe to finish the dress. My favorite part though was the bow you gave me when I finished; big and purple with a button so I didn't have to spend hours tying the bow. _

It was the same bow I had seen her wear when I left; her thick big velvet purple bow.

_Every time I see or wear that dress my errant thoughts focus only on you. And now I hope the strip helps you focus on me. Even if I should not be so selfish as to want myself to become before the war. It is less that and more that I simply want to be with you always._

_Yours,_

_Alice Brannon_

_Post Script: in this envelope should be a piece of purple fabric from the inside of my dress. A piece of us for you to have with you. A piece of us for you to always have on your mind. I love you Jasper. I loved you when we made that dress, I loved you when you left, I love you now, and I will still love you when you come back to me._

I folded the scrap of fabric in my hand, taking the time to breathe in the smell of her that was so subtly still attached. Quickly, I tied it carefully around my wrist securing it carefully under the cuff of my jacket. Admiring it I looked down to see two more envelopes on the floor at my feet.

I quickly reached to open the first.

_My dearest Jasper,_

_I'm receiving your letters out of orders. I suppose it is your replies out of order. The last letter I received said simply 'I love you my Alice. I love you forever and Always'. It was written on a slender sheet of paper. I simply wanted to say that I also love you and I hope you are warm and well._

_With all my love,_

_Alice Brannon_

I tucked it into my bag with the rest of her letters. The only thing I carried with me from camp to camp, other than my socks of course. My calloused fingers quickly opened the next envelope. Her handwriting always had a way of jump starting my heart. I could see her in her whimsical letters and sentences.

_My darling,_

_I miss you so much my Jasper. You wrote that you dreamed of me often; I woke with a dream of you my darling. Of us. It was a wonderful dream. A bold beautiful wonderful dream. When I sat down with this piece of paper anxious to get all the details down on paper, I could not get all the details down. So…well the drawings are attached. I thought this might bring you a little bit of the home you have been missing. Or maybe I am just selfish and want you to remember me my darlin'. Either way…I love you Jasper._

_With love and the sincerity of home,_

_Alice Brannon_

_Post Script: the drawings should be attached._

Several torn sheets of paper peppered the floor; I picked each piece up, putting them gently on the desk as I looked at them. The first I saw sent a thrill through my spine. Alice's art work was something I had always admired. Sometimes they were…well just like Alice…different. She had sketched one of us standing in front of tall thin buildings. Another of my favorites depicted us in front of a huge mansion, the Hale's and Swan's stood beside us. Alice had a distinct way of seeing inspiration that had not been apparent to anyone else.

The sketches of her dream inside this envelope were just as beautiful as the one's she held all over her room. A thin, long haired girl had her arms wrapped around a soldier in uniform in the first one. The second set of charcoal marks showed the pair dancing at a high society ball. The slender girl's long dress was depicted in thin swoops and curves. It was a dress that elongated the body I loved so much. That I admired.

Alice and I had only been to two dances together. We were different in the fact that we had not met at one of the dances like all the other couples. I did not see her beauty and aim to romance her like all the other men in the room. Alice and I did not meet at a dance; we were always a couple when we went to dances. I always saw every guy in the room look at her. Their eyes would take in that beauty and they would get up to ask her to dance. I always had a subtle way of letting them know she was…mine for lack of better word.

She loved the dances; I would take her to one when the war ended and I came home. A soldier's ball. We would match. Just like this picture.

The last picture was different than the rest. If I closed my eyes tight enough and pictured her putting these images together, I could see the bite at her lip and the tremor of her hands at including something like this. She had a problem letting her true emotions out sometimes. This picture was beautiful. Her long hair was behind a big bow, her long dress picked up in one hand; the other arm was wrapped around a small girl. She had a matching bow in her hair, and a baby romper. Blue jean overalls were hooked over the small boy who had a hand clenched in Alice's long skirt. My hand was on the small of her back. My jacket off my shoulders and draped softly on the ground. The other un jacketed arm was roped around another girl. The backs of the figures were what we saw in the picture; our eye presumably looking up at the long white house in the picture.

A picture of our family. The family she wanted. A family we would have.

I quickly took out my pen and went to write her a return letter.

_My Darling,_

_I want to start with my love for you. I love you so much Alice, so much. I recently received a batch of your missing letters. I suppose now that we have settled down at a camp for longer than a week someone felt like getting them to be. Becoming frustrated with frantic letter carriers is not something I should be doing, however I am. I am human. _

_The purple strip you sent me is wrapped around my wrist. You are always with me, ribbon or not. However I am so happy to have it my dear. I love the smell and the texture. It feels like you are so much closer to me. _

_I received the pictures in this batch as well and I love them Alice. It is as if it makes my mental visions of you so much sharper. I especially like the one of our family. I adore it Alice. That is exactly how I want things to be darling. That's exactly how it will be when I come home. _

I would build that house in her picture by hand if it would make her happy. I was wrapped around her finger with a ribbon. A purple ribbon.

_Alice, I am sending something along in this letter that I want you to have. I want you to use it to keep me on your mind. To keep the hope –_

I scratched out the word,

_To keep the knowledge that I am coming home on your heart. _

I slid out my pocket knife and unbuttoned my jacket. Turning out the hem on the inside I cut through the seam, ripping off the long stretch of wool. I tucked it against the top of the letter after smoothing a soft kiss in the middle of the fabric.

"Major Hale?" the sharp voice came from outside the tent.

"Enter" I drawled.

_I have to go now Alice. I love you so much my dear. _

_With the Sincerity of My Love,_

_Jasper Hale_

"What is it?"

The young lieutenant was sweating. He looked nervous.

"They need you. Emergency meeting. They fear an ambush"

I nodded grabbing my cover, "give this to the letter carrier."

I entered the tent and saw the stressed faces around me.

I would keep my promise, if it took everything I had. I would make it home to my Alice.

My Alice.

**AN: Reviews are greatly appreciated.**

**Fic Recs:**

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